


Please Teach Me Gently How To Breathe

by Georgie04



Category: Ackley Bridge (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Gay Character, Getting Together, Jealously, Love, M/M, Self Acceptance, Swearing, cory is jealous, jealous cory, naveed is an angel, soft cory, then he’s in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 14:47:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Georgie04/pseuds/Georgie04
Summary: The thought of Naveed being with someone other than himself terrifies Cory into a late night confession.





	Please Teach Me Gently How To Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I still want to drown whenever you leave, please teach me gently how to breathe. 
> 
> \- Shelter, The XX

 

It had started slowly at first, so slowly that Cory didn’t even realise. Seeing Naveed’s face every morning instantly brightened his mood, but he was his best friend, so of course that happened. And missing him when they weren’t in classes together was only natural, right? But then he started to notice how gracefully he moved, like he was on ice even when he was walking, and how his smile lit his whole face up, and his eyes were so warm and comforting. He started noticing every time their skin brushed together, and how, for some reason, he craved more. 

Then they slept together and it all went tits up. 

Because Cory wasn’t gay. 

So he told Naveed exactly that, and broke his damn heart. Of course, it wasn’t easy for Cory either, because at least half of what he said was true. Yeah he wanted it, yeah it felt right, and yeah, he _wasn’t_ gay. But it definitely _did_ mean the same to Cory as it had meant to Naveed, and that was the scary part. Because all his life he’d been told not to “act like a puff”, or “don’t be a sissy”, and he’d grown up hearing things like “those queers belong behind bars” and “fags are disgusting”. And of course he didn’t _believe _that, he didn’t care that Nav was gay, but like, that just wasn’t the same for Cory, was it? Naveed could never be disgusting, but if Cory were to like boys his dad would kill him.__

__So Cory wouldn’t like boys._ _

__At least, that’s what he told himself, but it’s hard to remind yourself of that when Naveed Haider is walking around looking like some kind of ethereal fucking being, reminding Cory of exactly who he can’t be and what he can’t have. And it fucking _hurt_ because Naveed is just so good and understanding. Cory literally shagged Naveed, then less than 24 hours later found someone else to share his bed with, but Nav _still_ forgave him, called him his best friend, pretended like he hadn’t broken both of their hearts. And how dare he? How dare he make this so easy on Cory, when Cory deserved to be treated like shit for what he’d done? _ _

__But that wasn’t who Naveed was, which was part of the reason Cory fancied him so much. And yeah his dad was getting better, but he was still the same mean bastard who’d raised him and Jordan, and he knew that bringing a Brown boy home and introducing him as his boyfriend would most likely end in at _least_ a double homicide. So Cory was resigned to being Naveed’s best friend, and if that was enough for Nav, then Cory supposed he could handle it too. _ _

__And he handled it pretty well for a while._ _

__A whole month actually, of them being good old bro pals, Cory, Naveed and Riz, the three musketeers as Miss Keane liked to call them. It was going fine, until Cory borrowed Naveed’s phone to text Jordan one Tuesday lunch, and a message came through while he was typing. And he wasn’t snooping, honestly, but when you see your best mate talking to a guy who’s name you don’t recognise and they’re putting _winky_ emojis, well, you’ve gotta check it out, don’t you? That’s what good friends do. So he opened the message, and his stomach just about fell out of his arse. _ _

__“What’s up?” Naveed asked him._ _

__Cory had gone as pale as a fucking ghost and Naveed and Riz noticed almost instantly._ _

__Now, Cory had to figure out how he was gonna play this. He wasn’t jealous, obviously, so he couldn’t be pissed at Naveed. But, he _had_ been keeping a secret boyfriend(?) from Cory and Riz, so, as best mates, they were entitled to be a little pissed, weren’t they? _ _

__“Who’s Aariz, eh?” Cory teased. Or, he tried to tease, but he was worried that it came out more pained than jokey._ _

__Naveed’s cheeks immediately flushed pink and he snatched the phone from Cory. Right. Not a good start. Cory was hoping he’d misread the situation, but Naveed’s reaction was pretty much confirmation that he hadn’t, and that Nav was seeing someone. Someone who wasn’t Cory. Not that Cory cared, cos like, Cory doesn’t like boys._ _

__Riz let out a laugh, “Ey up, Nav, you pulled?” And shoved his shoulder playfully._ _

__Naveed laughed too, but it was the awkward “please let the ground swallow me whole” kind of laugh. He looked to Cory, who tried to force a grin. Everyone loved Cory’s smile, people said it all the time, but he figured by the look Naveed was giving him that, again, he wasn’t quite giving off the vibe he was going for. He was just a bit off his game lately, he’d not really used his charm on that many girls, or any, in the past month or so. And just because that was when he slept with Naveed it _didn’t_ mean the incidents were related, it was just pure coincidence. _ _

__“It’s not what you think,” Naveed tried to explain, his eyes flitting between a grinning Riz and a definitely-not-devastated Cory in an almost comical fashion._ _

__“Course it’s not,” Riz tormented him, wiggling his eyebrows._ _

__“We’re just friends!” Nav protested, his eyes briefly glancing in Cory’s direction._ _

__“You never know, could be wedding bells along the line.”_ _

__Of course Riz was joking, so was it bad that Cory kind of had the urge to break his neck all over again for even suggesting such a thing? Because Naveed was too young for marriage, and Cory didn’t want him to throw his life away. That was absolutely the reason the thought of a “Naveed and Aariz” wedding made him want to throw up like he’d been drinking double vodka and cokes all night. Definitely. Not because the thought of Naveed with any boy other than him shattered his heart._ _

__And that was when things started to unravel for Cory. Because Naveed kept speaking to Aariz, and he seemed genuinely happy. Like, shit-eating grin happy, which was usually the kind of smile that was reserved solely for Cory, or Nas if he was feeling particularly generous. Cory wanted Naveed to be happy, of fucking course he did, the only thing _more_ important to Cory was Jordan, so why was Nav’s happiness leaving such a bitter taste in Cory’s mouth? He truly wanted his best friend to be happy, he just wanted Naveed to be happy with _him_ , not some guy he’d never even met yet. _ _

__“I think I’m gonna meet Aariz,” Naveed said after one of his comedy gigs, a few weeks later._ _

__“Go for it! Just like, do it in a public place an’ that,” Riz said, genuinely excited for his friend._ _

__Cory struggled to respond. He’d somehow lost the ability to form words, which was something that seemed to happen quite a lot around Nav at the best of times. But when Naveed was talking about meeting the guy who’d been the main source of his happiness for the last three weeks, well, what the fuck else was Cory gonna do? Respond like a normal person? Not a fucking chance. He settled for an eyebrow raise and a nod, hoping that would be enough of an answer for both Riz and Naveed. It wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t._ _

__“Do you not have anything to say?” Naveed asked._ _

__Cory wanted to kick himself because now he was imagining the hopeful tone in which Naveed had asked that question with. As if Naveed was waiting for him to say _don’t you fucking dare_. And shit he wanted to, he really wanted to ask Naveed not to meet up with Aariz, but he just couldn’t do it. If Naveed belonged to someone else then Cory was less likely to cave and want him for himself, he was less likely to become a failure to his dad and probably his brother, and he was less likely to make a complete arse out of himself. _ _

__“Come on, you have an opinion on everything?” Riz butted in._ _

__Silence clearly wasn’t going to work._ _

__“He makes you happy, right?” Cory asked Naveed eventually._ _

__“I mean, yeah, I, yeah I guess.”_ _

__Cory refrained from saying something along the lines of ‘well you don’t sound very fucking sure about that’ and just smiled._ _

__“Then there you go, that’s all that matters.”_ _

__It absolutely wasn’t all that mattered._ _

__When Cory arrived home to his perpetually empty house he just fucking lost it. He kicked the coffee table so hard it flew across the living room, then he kicked it a few more times just for good measure. He punched a hole into the side of the staircase, then three more. Then he went upstairs and kicked his wardrobe door so hard it fell off. The anger that had been building up inside of him just exploded out, and he suddenly fell like he was completely out of control, swimming way out of his depth and the waves just kept crashing over his head so he couldn’t even catch his breath._ _

__He hadn’t realised he was crying until he saw himself in the mirror. His face was red and blotchy from anger _and_ from crying, his eyes were swollen, and tears were streaming down his face faster than he could ever remember before. He was _angry_ , and he was fucking _heartbroken_ , and although the former was a very familiar emotion in the Wilson family, heartbreak like this was something he had never felt before, something he never even thought was possible. _ _

__And he hated himself for it._ _

__Because he’d tried _so fucking hard_ to not want Naveed, to not want to kiss him every time he saw his stupid face, and he’d been doing so well until the prospect of Nav being happy with someone other than Cory actually became a reality. And he’d _still_ tried not to care, but how the fuck was he supposed to do that when Naveed was a bloody angel who made him feel more alive than he’d ever felt before? How was he supposed to not want someone who cared so much about him when he absolutely didn’t deserve it?_ _

__How was he supposed to stop loving Naveed?_ _

__He had no fucking clue, and it was killing him._ _

__So he did the dumbest (or smartest, depending on how you looked at it) thing that he could think of. He picked up his phone and text Naveed before he could convince himself not to._ _

___Are you awake?_ _ _

___**Yeah, are you okay?** _ _ _

___I need you._ _ _

___**On my way.** _ _ _

__Cory shouldn’t have been surprised at Naveed’s response, he’d proven time and time again that he’d always be there for Cory. Yet Cory was still always shocked, could never quite believe that someone gave enough of a fuck about him to show up when he needed someone, when he needed _Naveed_. He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve anyone really, but especially not someone as wholly _good_ as Nav, who genuinely didn’t have a bad bone in is body, compared to Cory, who didn’t have a good one in his. _ _

__Even after Naveed had said he was coming, Cory still managed to be surprise when their was a knock at the door. He debated not answering it, but he was crying and fucking shaking and Naveed had come all this way to see him, and he just needed him. So he opened the door, and the look on Naveed’s face when he saw Cory crying, practically trembling, with blood dripping down his hands from where he’d punched the wall, well he nearly fucking broke too._ _

__And suddenly Naveed’s arms were around Cory. They were in his bedroom, though he had no fucking clue how they got there, and Cory was sobbing to the point of hyperventilation. Naveed held him as tightly as he could, and whispered gentle words of comfort into Cory’s ear until he had calmed down enough to listen to what Nav was actually saying._ _

__“Breathe Cory, you have to take deep breaths, you’re okay, it’s a panic attack.”_ _

__And holy fuck, if this was a panic attack he didn’t ever want to experience a heart attack because he felt like he was fucking dying._ _

__“Here,” Naveed whispered into his ear as he took Cory’s hand and placed it on his chest, “feel my chest moving up and down? Breathe in time with me. You’re gonna be okay.”_ _

__And it was hard to argue with that when Naveed was holding him._ _

__It took almost half an hour for Cory to calm down, and once he did Naveed guided him to the bathroom so he could start to clean Cory’s cuts on his hands. Naveed crouched in front of Cory, cleaning his cuts with an antiseptic wipe from a first aid kit he’d found shoved in the back of the bathroom cabinet. Naveed didn’t know what to say, and Cory just felt like a right prat._ _

__“Cory,” Naveed whispered his name, and Cory had to bite his tongue to stop the whimper from slipping between his lips._ _

__“I’m so sorry,” Cory replied, because what else could he say?_ _

__“Don’t,” Naveed shook his head, stopping cleaning the cuts for a second to look at Cory, “don’t apologise for this.”_ _

__So Cory kept his big mouth shut to avoid looking like even more of a tool, and waited patiently while Naveed cleaned and bandaged his hands. They would probably hurt in the morning, but he was too spaced out to feel anything at this point. Well, almost anything. His heart still hurt like a Naveed shaped piece had been snatched from it, and even though the panic attack had subsided he still felt like he couldn’t breathe every time Nav took his hands away._ _

__Once his hands were taken care off, Naveed guided Cory back into his bedroom. Nav’s hand on the small of Cory’s back was about the only damn thing that was keeping Cory walking, keeping him bloody _upright_ at this point. So when they reached his bed he all but collapsed onto it, manoeuvring his legs so he could pull his covers over himself and up to his chin. He felt like a fucking child, crying and demanding attention, _idiot_. And Naveed was standing in the middle of the room, way too far away from Cory, and he needed him to be closer. _ _

__“Sit with me?” Cory almost fucking begged, and it wasn’t lost on either of them that the last time they were in this position they’d almost ruined their friendship. They’d _definitely_ ruined their hearts. _ _

__But how could Naveed ever say no to Cory? Especially when he looked so soft and vulnerable and in need of affection. So against everyone’s better judgement Naveed sat down next to Cory, far enough away that they weren’t touching, but close enough that Cory could feel the warmth radiating off him, with just a hint of anxiety thrown in the mix. Cory made Naveed anxious, and he wasn’t sure if that was terrifying or thrilling, but either way they were too far apart and Cory needed to be closer, though he figured he could be on Nav’s fucking lap and it still wouldn’t be close enough._ _

__“I’m tired,” Cory said, and somehow Naveed knew he didn’t just mean physically, so he reached out a tentative hand and covered Cory’s with it._ _

__“What’s going on, Cory?” Naveed asked._ _

__If anyone else had asked that question he’d have laughed and told them to piss off, but this was Naveed, the one person in the world he could talk to properly without any fear of judgement or reprisal._ _

__“I’m just so tired of pretending that I’m this person, pretending that I don’t feel how I feel,” Cory confessed, and once the gates were open everything started to pour out._ _

__“I remember once, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and cut all my leg open,” Cory started, “and I cried so much. It wasn’t long after mum had left, so I went to my dad, and he told me not to be queer, that real men don’t cry.”_ _

__Naveed tightened his hold on Cory, and Cory just about fucking melted into the touch._ _

__“So I wasn’t gonna be queer, because then my dad wouldn’t love me, and he’d leave me and Jordan just like mum had. But I’m _tired_ of that, Nav. I’m tired of trying to be the man that he thinks I should be. And if that makes me a shit son, then fine, I guess I can live with that.”_ _

__“Cory, I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand what you’re trying to say? But I think the less like your dad you are, the better.”_ _

__And bless Naveed, he was trying to make this as easy as possible for Cory and Cory was just talking in riddles._ _

__“I thought that I could push it away, you know,” and by _it_ Cory meant Naveed, “and I did, for ages, but then fucking Aariz came along, and I know, _I know_ I sound like a fucking psycho, but just seeing you so happy every time you talked to him fucking _killed_ me, because I wanted to be the person making you smile like that, and I want you to be happy, I do, but you’re making it impossible for me to pretend.”_ _

__“I’m sorry, I don’t, I don’t understand what Aariz has got to do with anything?”_ _

__Cory laughed, because of course Naveed was this fucking naive, and it would be annoying if it wasn’t so damn endearing._ _

__“You’re seeing him, Nav! And it hurts, alright?”_ _

__“Cory, I already told you, we’re just friends?”_ _

__Cory laughed again, but it was more of a sob, because he didn’t need Naveed trying to make him feel better about this, he didn’t need him lying to preserve Cory’s fragile heart._ _

__“Yeah but you were messing with us,” Cory replied, so certain of his answer that Naveed had to take a few seconds to reply._ _

__“What? No, Cory, I wasn’t. We’re _just friends_ ,” Naveed said, forcing Cory to look him the eyes and see that he meant it. _ _

__And shit, Cory wanted to believe him, but how could he? Naveed’s reaction when he knew Cory had seen the messages, the constant smiling whenever he was on his phone, it all pointed to a relationship._ _

__“You freaked when I saw the messages,” Cory mumbled, and he fucking hated himself for sounding so bitter._ _

__Naveed laughed. He actually laughed, as if Cory wasn’t pouring the most intimate parts of his soul out onto the floor for Naveed to see. Cory was about to get angry, really angry, but then Naveed shifted so, instead of sitting next to Cory, he was sitting in front of him, looking directly at him._ _

__“I didn’t want you to see the messages because most of them were about you,” Naveed confessed, a half smile on his lips._ _

__And suddenly Cory’s heart was _soaring_ , because Aariz wasn’t his boyfriend, in fact, Naveed had been talking to him _about_ Cory. _ _

__“I met him in some group online for aspiring comedians, alright? Yeah he’s great and he makes me laugh, but how could I ever want him, or _anyone_ for that matter, when I’m in love with you?”_ _

__Cory stopped. Shit, _everything_ stopped. It was like the thunder inside his head finally stopped rumbling, the weeks of anxiety faded, the waves stopped dragging him under and he finally got a chance to catch his breath. The only things that existed in the entire universe were him and Naveed, staring at each other as if they’d been frozen in time, too afraid to move in case the reality around them altered. Cory wasn’t sure if his heart had stopped all together, or if it was beating so fast he couldn’t feel it anymore. He didn’t care. Naveed was in front of him, and he was beautiful, and good, and he _loved_ Cory. _ _

__So Cory did what he had been wanting to do ever since that day in the locker room. He decided then and there that he didn’t want to be anything like his dad, that his fragile ego and his insecurities and his trauma weren’t going to get in his way anymore._ _

__He kissed Naveed._ _

__It was soft, and sweet, and so fucking gentle. It was everything Cory never knew that he needed. It wasn’t heated or filled with lust like most of the kisses he’d had, but it was filled with love, and affection, and it was so pure that tears slipped from Cory’s eyes with the realisation that _this was right_. _ _

__Until he felt hands pressing against his chest and pushing him backwards. And then the waves were back and he was struggling to breathe again. He jumped up, away from Naveed, panic searing through every part of him, because this couldn’t happen, he couldn’t come so close to having what he wanted, what he _needed_ , only to have it taken from him. _ _

__“Cory, Cory stop overthinking, okay?” Naveed said from behind him, resting a hand on his back._ _

__But how could Cory stop over thinking when Nav had rejected him?_ _

__“I didn’t stop you because I don’t want to, I stopped you because I want to make sure _you_ want to.”_ _

__Of course Naveed was thinking about Cory, caring about him, because that was who he was. Cory had done the exact same thing that he was terrified Nav was about to do, and yet Naveed immediately calmed him down, reassured him. What the fuck did earth do to deserve Naveed Haider?_ _

__“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Cory chuckled, “I want you.”_ _

__The smile on Naveed’s face was possibly enough to make Cory happy for the rest of his life._ _

__“I heard, and it made me happier than I can even describe, but I don’t want you to rush. You were panicked before because you thought I was seeing Aariz, you were panicking and you were scared, and I don’t want you to regret this tomorrow when you wake up and decide you can’t do it again.”_ _

__Naveed wasn’t trying to hurt Cory, but that comment fucking stung. Because that’s exactly what Cory did last time. He’d wanted Naveed, kissed him, held him, loved him, then broke his heart and acted like he wasn’t even fazed. So of course Naveed was terrified, so was Cory, but there would be no panic fuelled regrets this time. Now he knew what it felt like to be open with Naveed, to accept how he felt instead of pushing it away, Cory could never go back from that._ _

__“I’m bi, Naveed. I am, and I’m okay with it, and I love you.”_ _

__And while Naveed’s worries had been rational and justified, Cory fucking Wilson was standing in front of him telling Nav that he wanted him. Naveed really _was_ trying to give Cory time, but holy crap he’d have been a right twat if he’d walked away now. So he didn’t. He moved closer, reaching up his arms to rest them on Cory’s (incredible) biceps. Cory could feel the tension leave his body the second Naveed touched him, and Naveed immediately felt Cory relax under his touch. It was like neither of them were completely comfortable without each other, like the presence of the other boy somehow made them breathe a little easier. _ _

__“I love you,” Cory repeated._ _

__This time around Naveed didn’t hesitate._ _

__He stepped forwards so his body was pressing against Cory’s, moved his hands from Cory’s arms to his face, then kissed him like his life depended it. This kiss was more urgent than the last, but not any less meaningful, they were just done with forcing themselves apart, and wanted to be as close as possible._ _

__“I love you too,” Naveed murmured as their lips were still pressed together._ _

__Cory knew there were things they needed to talk about, discussions that needed to be had in order for them to get their relationship off to the right start, but all of that could wait, because the boy he loved was holding Cory in his arms, kissing him like that’s what he was put on earth to do._ _

__And yeah, he expected to face some difficulties along the way, but Cory knew there would always be _him_ , and he loved him for that._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s another one because I’m obsessed.


End file.
